truly asking for a forgiveness....

I dont even know whats wrong with myself right now... too much of things to think I guess...

I make a mistake and now, I want to make it right back... I was too following my heart says and this happens... I hurt my beloved feelings and I dont know which way else can I try just to ask a forgiveness from him... I try a lot and at the end, with his non responds, I felt so weak and cry at the ends... I love him not because of he is my beloved only, but because he is my bestfriends too... I just couldnt beleive that I now, have a fight with my own bestfriend... my own bestfriends, that colud me smile even if the sadness comes to visit me....

tell me, what else can I do to gain a forgiveness from him... i just asked for that and hoping that our friendship could be better again... even if he doesnt want to continue our friendship, just give me the appologies... and I wont bother his life even once after this..

I just dont want to pretend that Im smiling outside but my hearts says no....

tell me please, why it is so hard to gain a forgiveness from someone...??